If you want to be with a man leave your plastic balls some where else.My mother says she will keep this in mind and not tell the guy what to do when they are in a car and he refuses to ask for directions. The other night I lay in bed with him and we petted with our clothes on. I have a very high libido and want sex very much physically, but I’m not ready emotionally.
My last Huff Post blog about this topic set off a stream of comments, some asserting that I was being condescending.
At this point I’m okay with petting, but I don’t feel comfortable getting naked and doing more. First, I am very scared of having sex with someone who might have a sexually transmitted disease. So I would need to be sure the man was disease free before I would exchange any fluids, either through intercourse or fellatio.
Also, he mentioned early on that he doesn’t always have an erection. I don’t want him to ask me to spend ages masturbating him or giving him oral sex to get him aroused. Tell him that you enjoy the sensuality of what you’ve been doing, but you’re not ready to take it further and can’t predict when or if you will be. Meanwhile, a few things to think about: It sounds like he has hinted at his sexual needs but you haven’t ask him to clarify them.
I want to feel more secure with him so I’ll feel ready for sex – I’m in the process of recovering from a two-year relationship with a man who was not emotionally available, so I’m a little scared. Wanting physical affection but not intercourse does not make you a tease. It’s common for older men to need more touching and other kinds of sexual stimulation.
—Ambivalent About Sex As I say often, sex is never just about sex, and many components are contributing to your ambivalence: You’re concerned about rushing too fast, exposing yourself to STDs and not knowing how to please him; you’re not sure you would enjoy doing what he needs you to do and worry that the relationship won’t work out. There are plenty of ways to enjoy each other sensually and sexually without intercourse, as you’re discovering. Their erections and orgasms often require more attention from a partner.