And while we’d go out to shows and bars together, we agreed that we'd hang just as friends. He’d sing me Johnny Cash songs in a thick southern accent.He hung all of the shelves in my apartment, cooked me chicken and dumplings from scratch, and, real talk, was some of the best sex I’ve ever had. One day, Will told me that he’d met someone he was interested in pursuing seriously, but that he’d end things with her if I wanted to take our relationship to the next level.As much as I liked Will, I knew that there were a lot of ways in which we’d never work as a couple.The passion that made our sex so good also meant we bickered regularly.He didn’t tell me I was a bad person or that I was selfish.
But, like Maya Angelou said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” If someone you're interested in says they just want casual sex, believe them.His name was Will*, and he was a theater actor with a side hustle as a carpenter, and a slight Texan drawl. We immediately bonded over our love of cheap beer, theater, and Johnny Cash.For the next five hours, the booze flowed; we moved to another bar, split a plate of nachos, and then drunkenly fell into a cab together back to my apartment.“I’m not interested in a serious relationship,” he’d say.“I’m just looking for something casual.”I know I’m saying I just want to hook up at the moment, but if you stick around long enough, I’ll realize that you’re perfect for me — and we’ll live happily ever after, just like in all those romantic comedies your mother loves. I’d repeat the same pattern, hear some form of the same line, over and over again. They, too, had been dealing with paramours on the prowl for no-strings sex. But, ever the optimist, I continued to date, wary of guys who would tell me they just wanted casual sex right off the bat.